Conflict can be good for you and your church

24.01.10 / Uncategorized / Author: admin / Comments
Tags: 19 Years, Alban Institute, Article Points, Best Friend, Conflict, Human Beings, Newsletter, Options, Pastors, Periods, Relationship, Stress, Uncertain Future

I subscribe to the Alban Institute’s newsletter, and was surprised to see an article there entitled “The Need for Stress and Conflict.” My first reaction was, “Gee, most pastors I know have plenty of stress and conflict in their lives and would gladly give it to anyone who thinks they *need* some.”

However, as I read and reflected on the article (which you can read here), I realized that both individuals and organizations do in fact need some degree of conflict in their lives – it’s impossible for us to grow otherwise.

Think about any relationship that is important to you – your relationship with a spouse, best friend, parent, or child, for instance. Has that relationship always been free of stress and conflict?

I’ve been happily married for almost 19 years now, and I can assure you that during that time there have been periods of stress and conflict. I don’t think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship without it, because different human beings are inevitably going to have different wants and different opinions about the best course of action at some point.

As the Alban article points out, sometimes bringing up an issue that others are avoiding stirs up conflict, but that conflict is a necessary part of considering various options and moving forward into an uncertain future.

When has conflict been a difficult but necessary part of your life or your congregation’s? How have you benefited from the experience?

Toxic parishes: who’s to blame and what should be done?

03.01.10 / Uncategorized / Author: admin / Comments
Tags: Address, Attempts, Conflict, Congregations, Denomination, Denominations, Duty Of Care, Dysfunctional, Emotional Support, England, Faith, Health, Meaningful Ministry, Pastors, Toxicity, Vibrant Community, Vicar

Ask any pastor, and he or she will confirm that toxic parishes exist. He or she may well have served one at some point. To be fair, there are certainly toxic pastors out there as well, though it tends to be easier to address that problem than it is to deal with toxic parishes.

What is a toxic parish? I define it as a parish that is so embroiled in conflict and unwilling to make the changes necessary to move toward health that it actively sabotages or passively resists all attempts to engage in meaningful ministry.

Of course, there are varying degrees of toxicity, and in some situations the right pastor can transform a conflicted, dying congregation into a vibrant community of faith. Is there a point, though, at which denominations should simply refuse to send another pastor to a parish with a long history of chewing up and spitting out its pastors? Does the denomination have any responsibility to forewarn pastors about a parish’s history of conflict, or to provide financial or emotional support to pastors who are forced to leave dysfunctional congregations?

One vicar in England thinks it does, and he is suing his diocese for not exercising its “duty of care.” You can read more about it by clicking here.

What do you think? Please add your comments below.