There is a Native American story about a young man who consults an elder for advice. The young man explains that he is constantly at war with himself, and feels like there are two ravenous wolves living inside him, each demanding his attention and urging him to act. One pressures him to do good works, focus on serving others, be honest, and stand up for what is right even if it makes him unpopular. The other pressures him to focus solely on his own needs, see others in terms of how they can serve him, twist the truth or withhold information when it suits his purposes, and go along with the crowd in order to be liked. He is troubled by the constant conflict between the two, and asks the elder which one will win out. The wise elder replies, “The one that you choose to feed.”
As a Christian, naturally this story reminded me of Paul’s words in the book of Romans: “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do what is good, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my members another law at war with the law of my mind, making me captive to the law of sin…” (Romans 7:21-23).
Ultimately, as Paul goes on to point out, only God through Christ can rescue us from this “body of death,” but at the same time, children of God are called to “set their minds on the things of the Spirit” and to do so “is life and peace.” (see Romans 8:5-17)
We are also advised in the book of Philippians, “Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
What we think about matters; our thoughts create our emotions and help shape our actions. These days, it seems like we are constantly bombarded with bad news: murders and other violent crimes, natural disasters, rising unemployment, wars, and other tragedies. There is a pervasive sense of fear and helplessness, along with a survival mentality that encourages hoarding resources instead of sharing them.
We can choose to feed our minds more nourishing food, however. Instead of watching the nightly news, we can watch inspirational true stories or videos showing the beauty of nature. We can read success classics like Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, which provide case studies of remarkably successful people, demonstrate how their thoughts led to their success, and suggest specific steps we can take to train our minds to think like that (for your free copy, click here). We can listen to motivational tapes or inspiring music. We can study God’s Word, pray, meditate, and gather with other believers for fun and fellowship.
Which wolf will you feed today? What activities, books, or other resources help you think positively? Please share your thoughts.
I started the Be True to Yourself website and blog as a general site, with content focused on living an authentic life. I wanted to help people rediscover who they really are, and make the most of their God-given talents.
That is still my goal, but rather than working with the public at large I am now focusing specifically on clergy. Because I am a pastor myself, and am also married to a pastor, I feel especially called to help other pastors cope with the demands of parish ministry in healthier ways and more fully become the people God created them to be.
Too often, as clergy we are so focused on caring for others that we end up not taking very good care of ourselves. Our concern for the needs of others sometimes leads us to neglect our own needs. Thankfully, many churches are aware of this tendency, and seek to support and encourage pastors in a variety of ways.
My hope is that this blog will become a place where clergy can find inspiration to live healthy and balanced lives, enter into constructive dialogue about the unique challenges we face, and share coping strategies and other resources.
Pastors interested in more in-depth conversations about particular struggles they are facing are encouraged to contact me for a free inital consultation. I am also available to lead workshops at clergy gatherings or other church events. Please let me know how I can help you!
In previous posts, I have highlighted individuals that I admire for being true to themselves. Obviously, it is far better to be true to yourself and do what you know is right even when others tell you it is unrealistic and pressure you to give up your dreams, but it can be very difficult to do that. More and more people are turning to life coaches for help.
What is a life coach? A life coach is someone who helps you understand yourself better, identify goals, and develop and implement a plan to acheive those goals.
When you meet with a life coach, he or she will ask questions designed to help you reflect on your life as it is now and determine which aspects of it you would like to change. The life coach will then help you decide what you need to do to make those changes happen, and support and encourage you as you take the steps necessary to make your dreams a reality.
Have you ever hired a life coach? Do you know anyone who has? Would you consider hiring one? Why or why not? Please share your thoughts by clicking on the “comments” link below, and if you would like more information on the life coaching services I offer check out my website, www.betruetoyourself.com
In recent posts, I have mentioned my admiration for public figures like Barack Obama and Bruce Springsteen because both come across as authentic individuals who are making good use of the talents God has given them.
Who do you admire most – and why? Ultimately, for me as a Christian, Jesus Christ is the person I admire most, and his complete faithfulness, to the point of being willing to give his life for me (and for you and everyone else in the world!), is a model I try to imitate, though I know I fall far short and am grateful for God’s forgiveness and mercy.
Please share a little about the person that you admire most – whether the individual is a well-known public figure or a family member or friend of yours.
I have seen Bruce Springsteen in concert multiple times. During the Magic tour, I flew from Maui to California for the sole purpose of going to his concert. Luckily he added a second show in Oakland so I got to go twice! Unfortunately, economic realities will probably prevent me from doing the same thing for the Working on a Dream tour this year. At least I’ll get to watch his Superbowl half-time show on a big screen TV, but there is just no substitute for seeing Bruce and the E Street Band live.
Why am I such a huge fan of his? Of course I love his music, but more than that I admire him for following his heart and doing what he loves and is clearly meant to be doing. Before he was world famous and making big bucks, his parents understandably wanted him to pursue other careers. He loved music too much to give it up, though, and his persistence paid off.
When I watch him on stage, it is clear that he is having at least as much fun as his audience is. He also does not hesitate to speak his mind about U.S. policies he sees as morally reprehensible, even when fans don’t share his views. He puts his money where his mouth is by donating millions to various charity groups and encouraging fans to bring canned goods and cash to concerts to benefit local food banks.
For all of these reasons, he strikes me as a man who is being true to himself and making the most of his God-given talents, and inspires me to do the same.